[She frowns, but she doesn't really have to consider how to put it. Benefits of honesty week.]
Suriel told me those of us who were chosen by the angels wouldn't be chosen again, but she also told me that . . . the reason we couldn't speak was because they still considered us to belong to them in some way. We remained their game pieces in the competition; they didn't want us caught and punished. Those of us who got away with it were still under their control.
That notion really troubled me. I did feel that I was still obeying them and participating in their game every time I lied to someone or accused someone or voted for them. Physically I couldn't confess, but beyond that - after a while, I became worried about others being punished if I was too obvious, so I started lying to people on purpose, too.
I can't pretend what happened with Rochalizo wasn't terrible, but it was also the first time in a long time I felt like I could make decisions that didn't have anything to do with what the stupid angels wanted me to do. And I died, but I dragged him down with me, and we're both free of them here.
No, that's... [ this is where it being truth week betrays her. ] I understand. Before I came here, I spent most of my life chemically brainwashed into obeying someone's orders. It's an invasive feeling, where you're not sure if what you're doing is your own decisions or theirs.
Sometimes getting freedom isn't always a pleasant journey, so I'm glad you're happier here.
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I just think that they did not really think it through when they sent those messages. But there's less of a problem now with these.
[ she pats the fridge. bless working technology. ]
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[It's honesty week so apparently she really means this.]
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[ it's kind of funny ]
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Why?
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[She frowns, but she doesn't really have to consider how to put it. Benefits of honesty week.]
Suriel told me those of us who were chosen by the angels wouldn't be chosen again, but she also told me that . . . the reason we couldn't speak was because they still considered us to belong to them in some way. We remained their game pieces in the competition; they didn't want us caught and punished. Those of us who got away with it were still under their control.
That notion really troubled me. I did feel that I was still obeying them and participating in their game every time I lied to someone or accused someone or voted for them. Physically I couldn't confess, but beyond that - after a while, I became worried about others being punished if I was too obvious, so I started lying to people on purpose, too.
I can't pretend what happened with Rochalizo wasn't terrible, but it was also the first time in a long time I felt like I could make decisions that didn't have anything to do with what the stupid angels wanted me to do. And I died, but I dragged him down with me, and we're both free of them here.
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No, that's... [ this is where it being truth week betrays her. ] I understand. Before I came here, I spent most of my life chemically brainwashed into obeying someone's orders. It's an invasive feeling, where you're not sure if what you're doing is your own decisions or theirs.
Sometimes getting freedom isn't always a pleasant journey, so I'm glad you're happier here.
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Thank you for telling me that. You really did go through a lot . . .
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[ sometimes you have to go home to blow up a dude in a helicopter later ]
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[ high five.......... ]