yuri catchall

[booksleeves]

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[senjinrouha]

[ that earns her a slightly raised eyebrow. ]

You'd think we wouldn't be worried about you when you were just missing like that?

[booksleeves]

[She shakes her head - that's not it at all.]

I know you all much have been horribly worried. [. . .] A lot of people here care about me, and I feel a little as though . . . I failed them.

[senjinrouha]

...

What were you trying to do out there, Susato? Did you just wake up by chance, or...?

[booksleeves]

Indeed, I did.

[She sighs, folding her fingers in her lap.]

I don't know how else to explain it.

[senjinrouha]

So there's a chance whoever was after Rex didn't just stumble across you coincidentally. They might have planned to kill both you and him.

[booksleeves]

[She thinks about this for a moment, closing her eyes.]

I think so. I don't think there's any way I could have simply been awake by accident, so there must have been a reason for it.

[senjinrouha]

[ wow. now he's even more annoyed they didn't pin this person down. ]

But... and sorry, if this is a bit too blunt, but-- they didn't kill you. Sure, they put you in a situation where you could die, but you survived. But they had a plan for Rex and made sure he was dead.

[ ... ]

It feels purposeful you were awake, but also like what happened to you wasn't their biggest priority.

[booksleeves]

[She doesn't seem bothered by his bluntness.]

That does seem logical. If I was unconscious, they easily could have killed me if they wanted to.

[senjinrouha]

But... the idea it was someone who cared for you doesn't really fit. [ he remembers this from trial. ]

If they did, they could have just left you outside and not dragged you into the back room in the first place.

[booksleeves]

Carbon monoxide is very dangerous. Even if it didn't kill me, oxygen deficiency could cause permanent brain damage. I was very lucky that the consequences weren't more severe - either that, or Xie Lian's healing saved me from something terrible.

[. . .]

Moreover, I cannot imagine someone who cared for me would put me in this awful situation, or do something so cruel and cowardly as to leave me to die.

[senjinrouha]

Exactly. So... I wonder if you're on to something with that list we had being off the mark.

[ ... ]

You were the one who threw that can?

[booksleeves]

[She nods.]

As I said, I woke up in the night and realized I needed oxygen, so I threw it through the window.

[senjinrouha]

I think if anyone gave themselves the biggest fighting chance there, Susato, it was you.

[booksleeves]

Maybe it was simply a poor trap I was caught in, Mr. Yuri. I couldn't say.

[senjinrouha]

You gave yourself an oxygen supply, and us time. Don't downplay that.

[booksleeves]

Hmm.

[She glances away at the compliment, not seeming to want to accept it.]

[senjinrouha]

…

Not everything worked out the way we would’ve wanted it to, I know. But you’re very resistant to accepting there were a couple of good things to come out of this.

[booksleeves]

Good things?

[She turns to look back at him, frowning.]

What good came out of any of this?

[senjinrouha]

You not dying?

The situation is always going to be terrible but we thought we had three dead, yesterday. If searching hard enough brought everyone back, we’d have done it. But it doesn’t so you have to take what little good there is and remember it still exists.

[ … ]

And make sure we make the people controlling this sick set up pay.

[booksleeves]

Rex and Tsurumaru died, and I was brought into it in a way that made everyone sick with worry when that didn't have to happen.

[senjinrouha]

But it did. And now we’re here and everything’s still crap, but not everyone we thought was lost was actually lost.

[booksleeves]

[. . .]

I'm afraid you won't convince me to see the good side of this, Mr. Yuri.

[senjinrouha]

[ he nods. ]

It’s one small thing in a mass of… everything else. [ … ] I’m getting really tired of being two steps behind, especially when it keeps ending in something like this.

[booksleeves]

It's awful.

[She sighs.]

Forgive this ugly mood I'm in. It's simply . . . knowing that there is a person among us who not only killed Rex but also caused so much fear and pain to every person here . . . I am so angry to have been made to be the cause of that.

[senjinrouha]

I'm not expecting anyone to be all sunshine and rainbows right now.

[ ... ]

I kinda wish we had an "angel" here so I could punch it. [ he raises his hands in quotation marks ] "Violence is the not the answer", but I think they deserve a little of it.